I once observed two kids, same ages as mine, at a pool, in the desert sun of Arizona. I couldn't peel my eyes off.
For hours, the kids quietly and happily played together, alone, with parents, never once complaining, tantruming, yelling, fighting.
I was flabbergasted at how perfectly behaved these young people were, as was my dear friend lounging poolside with me.
Upon leaving, we overheard the family speaking French.
Ahhh, these were French kiddies.
Ahhh, these were French kiddies.
I instantly remembered a review from a new parenting book: Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. I purchased it immediately. I was certain those French parents contained some hidden secret we Anglophiles were not aware of.
Want the magic spell....
Waiting.
The success of well behaved children is derived much from the parent's ability
to postpone immediate gratification.
In fact, French parents assume instilling this virtue as one of their preeminent priorities.
Teaching children to wait for meal times.
Pausing during night hours, before rushing to pick up a irritated infant.
Lingering prior to fullfilling the immediate demands of the child.
It was perhaps comical that as I devoured each point and chapter I was stunned by such brilliant ideas!
Teaching my kids patience: what a peculiar notion!
Then it directly occured to me.
Patience is the Supreme parenting notion.
Our sublime Creator and perfect Parent calls on all of His children to wait.
By waiting upon the Lord we find our own inevitable inability.
We find we are utterly dependent upon Him.
And in individually, orchestrated circumstances, all eventually learn,
through Patience in tremendous trial,
that we actually coexist with millions of other beings learning the same principle.
We suddenly aren't the summit of all existence,
but we begin to see ourselves as one divine, beautiful part of its inhabitants.
And seeing everyone else in the same light
opens our minds,
and especially our hearts,
to the Christlike Charity we are all striving to absorb.
It is impossible to ignore that Pain accompanies Patience.
But comprehending there is grand purpose to pain,
allows us to be patient longer.
It is impossible to ignore that Pain accompanies Patience.
But comprehending there is grand purpose to pain,
allows us to be patient longer.
"The Children of Israel waited 40 years in the wilderness before they could enter the promised land. Jacob waited 7 long years for Rachel. The Jews waited 70 years in Babylon before they could return to build the temple. The Nephites waited for a sign of Christ's birth, even knowing that if the sign did not come, they would perish.
Joseph Smith's trials in Liberty Jail caused even the prophet of God to wonder, 'How long?'
Joseph Smith's trials in Liberty Jail caused even the prophet of God to wonder, 'How long?'
"In each case, Heavenly Father had a purpose in requiring that His children wait."
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf

7 comments:
How ironic. I am reading the very same book! After a news article about the superiority of French parenting, and then seeing this book come out, I ordered it express from Amazon. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and if so, how lucky for those in France who supposedly have one method of parenting nationwide. In America, as the author notes, there are several conflicting methods. Several people influencing your child for good or ill, and the most variety seems to be in our own home where Doug and I differ so greatly on child rearing methods. What to do, what to do... I think he will just have to read the book when I am done. Either way, I am wishing I had had these epiphanies four children ago.
love this! thank you for sharing!
Great ideas, I'm trying to take this all in as Matsen is screaming his head off for me in the other room. You hit the nail on the head!
this also reminds me of the talk by Joe J. Christensen (one of my favorites) called Greed, Selfishness, and Overindulgence. There have been several news/blog articles lately about french parenting that I completely agree with. Thanks for sharing, I will have to check that book out (once I get done with all of my birthing books)!
Interesting and understandable! I want to read this and be prepared for next time. Ry is very good at waiting, Maisey however, is the mold of what you don't want to see. Instant gratification, it's challenging when one parent can wait and the other, not so much. We actually both struggle with that in some areas. Thanks for sharing!
What a cool principle for parenting! I love the French culture : ) And thank you for tying this in to the gospel too.
I guess I need to hit the book store with my last bit of change!
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